my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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