How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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