I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
