Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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