my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
