Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
