Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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