You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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