K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
