Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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