...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize