Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's official drugs can't kill me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
