Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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