Got a toothbrush?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize