the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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