He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
