Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I understand Curling. That high.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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