I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
