How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
