That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize