if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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