remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
