So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
