She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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