I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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