i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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