Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
