i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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