meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
