that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
