Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
