My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
