GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
birth control should be required to get into college
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
