Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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