Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
