Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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