So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
