Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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