Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can't believe i had my finger in that
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
