My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
