We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
