he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
