Me too!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
