Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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