did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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