no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
