The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
