I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
