my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
