Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
