i don't like sucking hair
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize