Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
