So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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