..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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