nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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