Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
