Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
