I skipped work to stalk him.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
