it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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