I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
