am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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