im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
