Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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