Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
