I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
