Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
