Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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