do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
