yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
